How to Develop a Thriving Marriage

This week has been very difficult for me to internalize much of the readings. A couple of nights ago, I found out on Facebook that a very close friend from my mission passed away in a tragic car accident. It has been very hard for me to process it all and therefore difficult to articulate what I've learned from the readings since all I can think of right now is my dear friend and the fond memories I had with him. We had been close friends for nearly 12 years and it's hard to realize that he is on the other side of the veil. But based on all of this, I am so grateful for the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation and that one day I will get to see him again. Anyways, here are some of my thoughts based off of this week's readings. I think the best example of a power relationship in my personal life would be my grandparents on my mom's side. They have been married for 64 years. They treat each other with love, admiration, and respect. I have never seen them ever argue whi...

From the readings, what were the two most important ideas that stick out in your mind? One idea about fidelity that stick out to me was emotional fidelity. My younger brother has first hand experience with this. His wife left him for one of his best friends. She worked with this friend, slowly started to be personal with this friend and eventually had an affair. This rocked my brother’s world. It was heart-breaking to see him and how he felt betrayed, belittled and humiliated that his wife left him for someone else. It gave me perspective to never go that route in my relationships and to never put myself in a situation where this can happen.  Satan uses this tactic to destroy marriages. Besides my brother, I know several people where their marriages were destroyed due to emotional infidelity which then led to sexual infidelity. It is so sad to witness and it has ruined their lives. Based on the readings, emotional infidelity comes when there is some sort of a deficiency i...

I loved Gottman’s thoughts that each marriage and family is essentially a “micro-culture” full of rituals, symbols and roles. He says, “Marriage isn't just about raising kids, splitting chores, and making love. It can also have a spiritual dimension that has to do with creating an inner life together--a culture rich with 244 symbols and rituals, and an appreciation for your roles and goals that link you, that lead you to understand what it means to be a pan of the family you have become. Usually when we think of culture, we think in terms of large ethnic groups or even countries where particular customs and cuisine prevail. But a culture can also be created by just two people who have agreed to share their lives. In essence, each couple and each family create its own micro culture. And like other cultures these small units have their customs (like Sunday dinner out), rituals (like a champagne toast after the birth of each baby), and myths--the stories the couple tell themselves (w...

Honestly, it’s the little things that help keep a marriage together. I think the biggest thing that would help me when I get married it to be dependable. When my future spouse tells me that she needs help with something or to complete some type of task, I need to be a man of my word instead of putting it off. I struggle with this from time to time but I am doing a lot better at doing what I tell people I’m going to do. Based on my experience, being dependable has helped me to gain the trust of the person I am doing something for. So, developing a sense of dependability is an outward expression of your love and appreciation to the person you are with. It lets your partner know that they are a priority in your life which will foster respect, trust and love. I can thank my parents and grandparents for teaching me to be dependable. This is a trait that I developed at an early age and am striving to improve daily. There are other small ways to consecrate yourself for your spouse. I str...

Based on your observations or life experiences, what have you learned about pride? Hello everybody! My name is Calvin Hollingsworth. I'm excited to be here and have learned so much in this class that is helping me to prepare for marriage. I really enjoyed this week's content in regards to pride. We all struggle with various aspects of pride. For me, it is a weakness that has been talked about in my patriarchal blessing. Even though pride is one of my many Achilles heels, I am not the kind of person that is not full of himself or a "know-it-all." The older I get, I have learned that the biggest struggle with pride that I have is stubbornness. I can be very stubborn. I don't like to be told what to do (outside of work or Church) at times. This type of behavior, especially with my family, has caused strain in my relationships. Over the past year, I went through some serious mental and emotional anguish that came from experiences from my past. I let my past ...

Honestly, it’s the little things that help keep a marriage together. I think the biggest thing that would help me when I get married it to be dependable. When my future spouse tells me that she needs help with something or to complete some type of task, I need to be a man of my word instead of putting it off. I struggle with this from time to time but I am doing a lot better at doing what I tell people I’m going to do. Based on my experience, being dependable has helped me to gain the trust of the person I am doing something for. So, developing a sense of dependability is an outward expression of your love and appreciation to the person you are with. It lets your partner know that they are a priority in your life which will foster respect, trust and love. I can thank my parents and grandparents for teaching me to be dependable. This is a trait that I developed at an early age and am striving to improve daily. There are other small ways to consecrate yourself for your spouse. I str...